"I am too broken, I have sinned too much ~ how can I be made whole again? Where do I even begin?"
We have had countless clients come through our doors with these kinds of questions. Some are filled with shame because they have too many hurts and labeled as "too much to handle" by society. And with years of rejection and despair, they've lost sight of who they really are in Christ and believe the lie that they have become S H A M E F U L."
When you confess your sins and share your pain, it is one of the most vulnerable and humbling things you can do. Usually you share your deepest, innermost thoughts with those who have gained your full trust.
But consider a doctor's visit when you're really sick. Those initials behind her name say to you, "I can help you, I'm trained in this, You can trust me." Before you even have one conversation with the doctor, the nurse asks you to disrobe. You literally have to bare your body to a virtual stranger. And sometimes these exams can be uncomfortable and painful. Why endure this? Because you want to be well.
How about a session with a psychotherapist? "What brings you in today?” she asks. You don't know why but lately your emotions have taken over, keeping you up at nights with crippling anxiety. A close relationship has turned toxic and you don't know how to break free. A childhood trauma has suddenly surfaced from out of nowhere and you don't know how to process it. A marriage betrayal has you spiraling into depression and want to find happiness again. You want healing for your dis-eased soul.
Bare your body.
Bare your soul.
But what do you do when your spirit is crushed? Not a broken heart, but a broken spirit?
God created every person with a spirit to connect with Him. It's through the spirit that we have the capacity to have faith and a genuine relationship with Jesus. We can communicate with God through prayer, hearing, discerning and obeying His voice, and responding to him in love with worship through our spirit.
Like the body and soul, there are different levels of spiritual brokenness. What does that look like? A broken spirit can cause us to run away from God instead of running into his arms. When you agree with the lies of the enemy instead of believing in the Word of God, your spirit is broken. When you trust in superstition and rely on your own strength, idolatry has taken root in your spirit. Do you catch yourself saying, "God feels so distant from me. Why isn't he answering my prayers? Why is He always angry or disappointed with me? Maybe it's because I didn't do my quiet time or tithe regularly. God isn't really good because if He really loved me, he wouldn't have let this terrible thing happen to me."
In the garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve sinned against God, you could say that they had a broken spirit and it's called rebellion. You are rejecting God's lordship over your life and refusing to come under his authority. Your spirit says, God, you are not good enough and not worthy of my trust. I want to do it my way because I don't understand your ways and it's too hard.
Somehow the word authority has a negative connotation. Maybe it's the imperfect authority we've encountered in life that makes our bodies tighten up and makes us shut up our hearts. But you question, didn't Adam and Eve have the best relationship with God himself - the perfect leader? Perhaps it's not even bad authority figures. Maybe it's just our sinful, human nature - we don't want anyone to tell us what to do no matter how good that authority might be. Authority and rules are a guardrail to keep us safe but we often look at them as limitations and infringing on our freedom.
No one can heal our spiritual brokenness, nor satisfy all our needs except for the Creator himself. He gives us grace to believe, wisdom and revelation to trust Him. When we choose Him, our faith is strengthened and our affections for Him grow with every "yes." And when we get lost along the way, it will require us to humble ourselves and repent.
So, it's quite interesting that as children of God, we are more inclined to be more vulnerable with doctors and therapists rather than with our Jesus. We are sometimes more patient with taking antibiotics and trying out different medical treatments than we are with waiting on the Lord in quiet trust and persistent prayers. Perhaps with the physical and emotional pain, it's a little more tangible to deal with and less mysterious than the spiritual realm.
But the truth of the matter is that it's all tied together. We are created in the image of God. When God looks at us, he doesn't carve us up into pieces. He sees every part of us. And the healing that we desire is found in Christ. Sure, He uses doctors, medicine, therapy...all of it but He is Jehovah Rapha, the Great Physician, the Giver of life, the One who gives us our very breath.
With our human tendencies to go from grace to self-reliance to legalism, it's easy to see why we could lose sight of how incredibly gracious and compassionate God really is, how much He loves and delights in His children, and how He desires for us to come into communion with Him so that we could enjoy the promised abundant life. Not when we die and go to heaven, but now, here on earth.
The good and great news is that He invites us to draw near to Him no matter where we've wandered off to, no matter the pit we find ourselves in. Though we are dark, we are lovely. Song of Songs 1:5. Many forget that Jesus came to save the sick and lost, not to condemn but to deliver us from darkness and bring us into His Kingdom of grace.
Can you hear His whispers: "Do you want to be well? You are not too much. You are not too broken. I am here for you. I can heal you. If you hear my voice, do not harden your heart towards me."
Bare your body.
Bare your soul.
Bare your spirit.
Come to the Healer with your honest, raw emotions and give him your grave clothes. Is it shame, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, or addictions that have enslaved you? Trade in your sorrows, grief, hopelessness and despair for his true joy and peace. Put to death that which separates you from God. Choose Jesus and He can replace those filthy garments with His righteousness, and you will soon experience freedom like you’ve never imagined before. Let the Healer in today. Let him help you. Say “yes” to Him!
“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you through and through [that is, separate you from profane and vulgar things, make you pure and whole and undamaged—consecrated to Him—set apart for His purpose]; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete and [be found] blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23 AMP